Patrick Swayze- man, dancer, good guy

The pasing of Patrick Swayze this week of course has me thinking of my own mortality. Not from a place of fear, shit, I ain't afraid to die, more from the perspective that it's been a loooooooooong fucking time since I had a single thing to contribute to anyone. Perhaps my contribution has been accepting help.

Anyway, enough about me. I admit I didn't like all of Patrick Swayze's movies. What caught my attention most was how often I heard of his friendliness, and decency. He seemed to take a little time to speak with whoever asked him to. It's far to rare that someone in the public eye realizes that when a person finds themselves in the presence of someone that they have seen on the screen, or heard the music of etc., it will be that fans one and only chance to express years of emotion in just a few brief moments. That he recognized this, makes him a class act in my book. And sweet jesus could that feller dance. You were a brave man sir. Ditto.

These Days

Today, I became aware of a change that has happened in me, I specify the location because it is an important difference. Hopefully, as I write this, my words will make this clear.

For a while now, say oh, the last year or so, what I am drawn to for entertainment, ie, TV shows, music, etc., are things that touch me deeply. I have been watching certain movies that I have, often. Most of them are inspirational in some way, and are based on real events. I also watch alot of the great guitar players on DVD, performing live and with great emotion, skill, and a joy that fills my heart to over-flowing. There are two DVD's that I seem to watch at least part of daily. The one that is my clear favorite, and for my money showcases possibly the greatest performance ever caught on film by any guitar player, is the 1983 performance by Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble at the El Mocambo in Toronto, Canada. " Live at the El Mocambo" quite simply will put you back in your seat if you let it. Stevie just plain plays his ass off. Watch his face, its obvious that every single note is deeply personal, his face shows us this is from his heart, sweat pouring off him as he plays. He shares with us his passion for this music, and the depth of his gratitude that he was chosen to receive the gift of making music. He loved the music he played, and he loved playing it for us. The other DVD, I will talk about next time.

Until then, I suggest to you just this; find something that makes you feel, I mean feel, no bullshit FEEL. The way it is out in the world makes us build a shell around us for protection, hell, for survival. But FEEL everyday. It's im portant.

Dreams

It's dark days in my life. No matter which way I turn, there is darkness. The darkest time in my life is now, and I don't know what to do. I have no choice but to place it in God's hands and hope for the best. It's times lie this that doubt fills every corner of my thoughts, my being, my very soul. I have friends that without thought of their own needs give all they can, eat mush for days, just to help me. How do I ever thank them, her, for that. She is always there, with words of hope. I feel better knowing she is on my side, behind me, and most of all believes that I am worth it when my own family can only judge. It is good to know that I have done something in my life that has made me worthy of having such a friend.

photo credit Elizabeth Richardson, with a few "textures", also her idea.

What ever happened to?????????????????

Photo credit: Jack Morris

What ever happened to being able to find even a few minutes of peace in a day. In the world today, it comes at you from all angles and at the speed of light, no let-up, no warning. The government is staggering, stumbling, looking for any way to save face. I was so hopeful when Obama was elected, that we would finally have in place a man that knew what is was like to be without, to be different than those around him and know that is was ok. That if you helped your fellow man, if you were kind, walked a mile in the other man's shoes, that truth and fairness would surely come your way. Now, it appears that our civilization is crumbling around us. Greed is everywhere you look. You can't even stop a subscription without the company charging you an extra month hoping you won't say anything, OR, making it so fucking frustrating that you just give in and let them screw you out of it. Banks are finding every way they can to wring every cent they can while providing less and less service. It makes one wonder how they got in such poor shape. Oh yeah, huge bonuses for executives that are incompetent at best. We little people are in deep deep trouble, no health care, too high taxes with no benefits, and on and on. I'm so depressed right now I just need to sleep.